The Night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic
by TheFrenchWriter
Summary: He was lost. They were lost. What had went through his head? Leaving just like that, betraying her, humiliating her in front of all her kin! He deserved to be called a bastard. He deserved to be left there, all alone. He deserved the same treatment he had given her. Now, if he could just lie here a bit... Forget it all. Let the snow drive him to sleep...
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! This is my first fanfic (aaaah I couldn't wait to say that) and I thought since I'm a big fan of Game of Thrones, I could start with a Jon Snow x Ygritte one. The first chapter is a bit short, but don't panic! I'm just setting the story here ;) Please take note that this story is not going to be completely different from the GoT universe, so we're simply talking about some alterations of Ygritte and Jon Snow's love story.

Now, I don't want to give you too much details, but if you are in desperate need to read some Ygritte and Jon Snow stuff, you are definitely at the right place! Now sit back and read, I'll do the rest of the work :)

*I obviously don't own Game of Thrones and/or any of its characters, so let's take a moment to thank George R. R. Martin for the wonderful universe he created! Thanks a lot, pal!*

The French Writer

 **The Night He Fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 1**

He had left. He couldn't believe it, but he had to face the situation once and for all: he had left. Even the rain, the arrows and the way she _looked_... Nothing made it to him. Or so it seemed, because now... Now, it felt as if someone had crept up inside him, and had kept banging on his guts, on his heart, on his liver.

Everything hurt. Everywhere. His horse was a strong, brave beast. No, the problem wasn't the horse at all. It was him. Him. The bastard, the man who didn't even deserve to be called a man. So he fell. The way the ground arrived to him, the way the dirt brushed against his jaw, he didn't even remember any of it. All he could seem to recall was the sky. _It was blue, before... Now, it's black... Seven hells, where am I?_ And suddenly, he coughed, and his hand went around quickly across his chest, only to find the three arrows still lodged in place. A feeble light was coming through the trees' leaves... Without it, he couldn't have seen the blood on his glove.

But he did. It was dark, and its disgusting texture finally brought some sense back into him. And that's when he started to panic. _I left her. I left... And now, what? Now I'm gonna be here, dying slowly, coughing blood?_ Then he remembered. The wall. Castle Black. The wildlings. Their plan. He had to go back to the wall. He had to. Slowly, Jon tried to get back on his feet. The pain knocked his breath out of his lungs. Tears of agony started to form at the corner of his eyes. Collecting all his strength, desperate to get up, he pushed himself upward until his toes found the ground.

And then, nothing. There was nothing left. His body resembled a dismembered puppet, ridiculous and broken and lost, not knowing what to do without its owner. The now formed tears slid down his unshaven cheeks. Jon wiped them out furiously as he let himself fall on his back again. There had to be a way. There had to.

And then he saw her. Ygritte. Somewhere in the sky, happy and funny and smiling as she used to before he acted like a fool. Before he acted like a _bastard_. Completely lost, he laid a hand over his eyes. Looking at her was too hard... But with a glove turning his whole world to black, he could still see her. And now, she was dismantled. Broken. As fierce as the enemy.

Everything that used to be alive in her... Left. He remembered her reaction when he said he still loved her. Her bottom lip trembling, the newborn tears in her grey eyes and the shadow that began to take control of her whole being. When she started stretching the bowstring even more, ready to release the tension, he felt as if he didn't know her anymore. That spark, that life, it had been kicked out. By him. And now, nothing seemed to matter anymore. He just deserved to wait here and die.

As time went by, delicate snowflakes began falling. Little speckles of cold brushed against his face, melting as soon as they reached the skin. He kept his eyes closed, calm and peaceful… Until he heard the voices.

So here is the first chapter! I really hope you enjoyed it! And if so, you can leave a little review for me (that's the beauty of the internet!)

Chapter two is coming very very soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter two! Enjoy :)

 **The Night He Fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 2**

"Lemme clear that out o' the way", someone declared. As soon as the sentence ended, a sharp noise echoed through the woods. The sound of an arrow.

Whenever Jon thought about arrows, he felt the pain searing through his whole body, like a melting pot of iron being spilled on him. But _hearing_ an arrow shot by someone… It just woke up some random memories that had been sleeping inside his brain for ages. Like the sight of Bran shooting arrows at a target, back then in Winterfell, when everything was paradise compared to this mess. And it reminded him of–

"Ygritte! God damn it, you look like ya just laid an eye on a whole bunch o' Others."

Jon held his breath as he recognized immediately the low, rough tone. It was Tormund Giantsbane's.

"What?" the voice continued. "Have ya lost your voice, o' somethin'?"

They stumbled across him, just like that. Simple, effective. He felt as if he was dying of humiliation.

"What in the world…" started Tormund, slowly warming up in anger.

Jon backed up against a rock, his breath all stiff and rasp. He even hit his head during the process. His eyes went searching for an escape, crazy and wild. Until they laid on Ygritte. She didn't even look mad. At that very moment, she looked like a young child: frightened and lost but at the same time deeply concerned. The mistake he then made shot some real sense into her: he smiled.

"What are ya looking at, crow?" she barked at him, savage.

He stayed silent, unable to react whatsoever.

"Should I end 'im?" she asked Tormund, calm and steady, as she got a hard grip on her bow.

Jon had no choice but to plead for his life. He tried to look at Tormund right in the eyes, but failed miserably. He felt as if one look would lead to a quick death.

"I'll do it", growled Tormund, gently shoving Ygritte aside.

"Don't ya dare!" she spit at him, furious. "We said 't would be me who'd do it! With me own hands!

Tormund's jaw stiffened.

" _You_ said that. I didn't say NOTHING!" He yelled the last word with so much force that it seemed to catch Ygritte off guard. "Ya was all so furious with ya little lover that ya didn't even care to listen!"

Ygritte's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Tormund's expression. "I listened! I just didn't see the point of obeying to ya! I can do whatever I want!"

"No, ya can't!" Tormund replied. "Not now! Not when it means letting a traitor live!"

Jon Snow realized the weight of Tormund's words. The giant man was insinuating that Ygritte wouldn't be able to kill him, which might have been good news if Jon's life hadn't been threatened anyway. He looked right at them, hoping for a good opportunity to get away with his life.

"What? What are ya talkin' 'bout? This is madness!" she cried at the top of her lungs.

"I'm sayin' ya can't do it. Is all! Ya shot three damn arrows at him! Ya didn't want 'im dead!" Tormund replied, categorical.

"Okay, I'll do it now! Is that what ya want? I'll kill 'im meself." She said, her voice trembling a little.

"Go ahead!" Tormund said, throwing his hands up in the air.

A moment went by. Ygritte had armed her bow, driven it upward until it pointed directly at Jon. Her eyes narrowed slowly.

"Leave us alone. I got this." She ordered Tormund.

The giant man took a moment to think. Looking at Ygritte, as if analyzing her mental state, he then let go. "Be quick 'bout it."

Jon listened to his footsteps as he went away, leaving the two ex-lovers together.

"So there ya are, crow!" Ygritte yelled, smirking.

"Yes", he whispered weakly.

"Don't ya dare say a word!" she shouted, definitely having trouble staying contained.

"Why? You're going to kill me anyway", he protested.

Jon then started wheezing violently. Blood spurted out of his mouth, sending red stains on the white bed of snow surrounding them. Ygritte recoiled feebly. She fought against the urge to spring forward and help him sit more comfortably.

"You crows all do this, eh? Take a girl, fuck her real hard, then leave her as if she's a toy or somethin'?" she said, her tone as bitter as the cold wind blowing in his face. "I should've known. Right when I got me first look at ya pretty face."

Jon winced. He knew Ygritte was hurt, and he had tried to prepare himself to witness the immensity of her pain, but this was just too much. His first love, the woman he broke his vows with, she was now questioning everything they had from the start. And she was fierce, going almost playfully at it. Maybe she didn't love him that much... Maybe she had never loved him. _No, that's not true, that can't be true. The way we kissed... The way we made love... And the expression of her face, when I left... But perhaps she just recovered quickly from it. She's so, so strong. Ygritte..._ She had said she was _his_ woman. She had told him not to betray her, with that deep and serious look of hers. And he had sworn... He just couldn't help but be disgusted with himself.

"That part... That was..." he mumbled, weakened by both the vehemence of her speech and the fact that he had three arrows still inside him.

"Yeah, ya better spit it out, crow. We don't have much time", she hissed.

"It was all real", he finally finished.

Ygritte stayed motionless. The sentence Jon had just pronounced didn't seem to affect her, except for the almost imperceptible trembling of her hands. She lowered her bow almost immediately as she realized Jon could start to see right through her game by noticing the detail.

"An' ya think I'm that dumb? Bloody hell, Jon Snow, ya don't even know me after all... Again, ya just wanted a look at my ass, is all."

"That's not true", he complained, broken as he realized something he never really admitted to himself: he had lost Ygritte's trust. All of it. And suddenly, the wall didn't matter anymore. The watch didn't matter anymore. It was only her that mattered. This young wildling kissed by fire, this _empty_ and _shattered_ person who now refered to him as the enemy.

"That's not true", he repeated, his voice becoming harder and stronger.

The wildling didn't seem to notice the effort. She wasn't convinced at all.

"Would you shut up already, _bastard_?" She knew very well how much he hated the word.

"I can't go back to the wall, Ygritte!" He finally yelled.

The words surprised her quite a bit, but she tried her best not to let it show.

"And why is that?" She demanded, curious despite herself.

"Because I still love you!" he shouted, desperate.

She couldn't help but be in shock. A big lump started forming itself in her throat. She tried to fight it back, but she was barely able to continue breathing. _He's lyin'. Tha's just 'nother thing he wants to shove into ya, as if ya'll believe it. Stop it. Stop thinkin' he's sincere, just stop it at once, damn it!_

"I swear it! I couldn't live with myself if-" He started blurting out.

"If ya left me?" she whimpered.

Her eyes started reddening quickly. Jon couldn't hold back his own tears anymore.

"'Cause if ya hadn't noticed jus' yet... Well here I am! And here you are! On your way back to your stupid wall..."

Her voice started breaking. She hated herself for it.

"Ya left me, Jon Snow! As if I'm nothin' to ya! As if I _was_ nothin' to ya! How could ya do that!? Ya swore it t'me... Looked straight into me eyes, and swore."

Jon looked so sad at that moment, she almost felt sorry for it. Again, she was sick with herself.

"Now ya go back here, wanna get a good littl' night o' sleep... Ya go back and ya wait? After all ya did?" She cried, helpless.

"I fell", he said, and his words, the way he imprinted them with pain, it almost knocked her off balance again.

She eyed him in an arrogant way.

"Didn't even think 'bout breaking the shafts?" she spurted out, seemingly careless about her humiliating words.

"I didn't", he conceded. I didn't think about it, nor did I know-"

He paused, watching her. She kept silent. For a second, he thought (and hoped) she would gratify him with one of those " _you know nothing, Jon Snow"_ phrases. But she didn't. _She doesn't know me anymore... Or she likes to think so._

Jon's sadness deepened when he realized how much he liked it when she said that. He used to think she did it to annoy him, but now, he wasn't so sure about it. _Wouldn't she have said it already if it was really a way to get me mad?_

"Then break the shafts", she ordered.

"Why? I'm dying anyway!"

A sudden wave of panic submerged her. He couldn't really be dying... Couldn't he? At that moment, she felt so sorry for hurting him that she wanted to bandage his wounds and hug him so hard she'd knock the air out of him and run her fingers through his thick, black, curly hair. But she did nothing of it. Instead, she tensed and both her hands clenched into fists.

"Ya want me to kill ya now, is what ya want?" she said.

"Do it! Isn't it what you said you'd be doing right now?" He groaned.

"That was before ya started talking with your littl' sweet crow words", she grunted between her teeth.

Just then, her bow was all tensed again. Arrow pointed at him, ready to pierce his heart and end his life. Quick, painless.

"I'll get that dumb look off ya face quick 'nough." She said, focused.

"Then do it", he told her.

"Goddamnit, crow! I'm tryin'!" she yelled.

It just awoke the memory of their first encounter, when she asked him to strike hard and true... When he hit the rock beside her head. That was why she couldn't hit him at the moment: because she knew when he had to kill her, he didn't do it. And he had barely known her! He basically was clueless about everything except her name. But he couldn't kill her. As simple as that. So now, how could she bring herself to end his life, to kill Jon Snow, the man she loved so much her whole being ached from it?

"Stop it", she said, tired and in pain and without anything left to hold on to.

"Stop what?" He whispered, coughing a little.

Ygritte didn't have any patience left.

"Stop bein' like this. Ya just want me to go, eh? Ya think with your little pretty face, ya can get me to do anythin' ya want?" She said, her grey eyes shooting lighting at him.

"No. I'm just a man waiting for his death", he said, calm and peaceful.

He could just wait here and sleep. Drift away slowly... He didn't care anymore. If Ygritte wanted him dead, he would die.

"Shut up!" She said aggressively.

She threw the bow away in the snow. It hit the ground with a thud.

"Ya just... Break the shafts. Do it now." she ordered.

He nodded slowly and obeyed, groaning with pain.

"Here. You're happy now?" he said casually.

"Of course I'm _happy_ , Jon Snow. I'm happy because of _you_." She said with so much pain and irony he almost felt someone slapping him brutally in the face. Remorse was slowly digging a hole in his chest.

"I'm sorry", he said. He knew how pathetic he seemed, and it only made everything worse than it already was.

"No, you're not! If ya didn't fall from your horse, ya would already be back with your crows!" she yelled, ruthless.

"You know that's not true, Ygritte. I fell because I knew I couldn't get back. Because I gave up." He whispered.

"Aye! So ya gave up on your duty an' your woman?" she countered.

Jon winced. He realized the size of his treason. At that point, he was certain that Ygritte could never forgive him.

"I would never give up on you", he swore, sheepish.

"But ya jus' did!" she cried in rage.

"I left, but that doesn't mean I gave up on you! I didn't have any other choice!" he said, pleading.

For a second, Jon thought Ygritte was about to storm off. She seemed to literally fall apart.

"Ya had a choice, Jon Snow. Ya had one, but ya didn't see it, is all." she whispered.

And she left. Swiftly, silently, moving through the woods as the skilled hunter she was. He watched as she went away. He wanted to cry and yell and hit the rocks surrounding him. But he did nothing of it. He just slept.

But when he woke up, he _saw_... There was piece of dried venison on his coat and a bowl of water on the ground, near the hilt of his sword. And before he knew it, he was smiling for the first time since his runaway.

I hope you liked this chapter! The next one is coming as soon as possible! In the meantime, take care ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello there! First of all, I am sorry about the delay! I had a lot of stuff going on and unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of time to write this fanfic. I will keep on writing it, though! Just hang in there, all I ask is for you guys to be patient ;) This chapter was pretty fun to write, I hope it will be as fun to read! So without further ado... Happy reading!

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 3**

"Ya came back?!" yelled Tormund. "Ya went to see 'im?!"

He was sitting near the tent, sharpening his dagger with meticulous precision.

"I was fishing", said Ygritte, so pissed off she didn't even try to find a valuable excuse.

Tormund took hold of her arm.

"Ya stay here, young lady!" He commanded the spear wife.

She hated when he was being bossy with her.

"I do what I want! Ya can't stop me!" she roared, hotheaded.

Tormund stood right in front of her, tall and fearsome. She almost flinched.

"What do ya think you're doin', Ygritte?" he asked, puzzled. "Ya ask me to leave ya alone, then ya have a cute littl' conversation with your traitor of a lover?"

Ygritte shook her arm free and started walking away from him. Immediately, Tormund followed in her tracks.

"Ya still love the boy!" he shouted. "Just confess the damn thing to yourself!"

Her expression changed dramatically.

"Just shut up!" she yelled louder than expected.

Tormund shot her an upset look.

"I won't! Ya see how ya react to people tryin' to help ya? Ya just _drive them off."_ He said.

"That's what ya call helpin' people? Forcin' them to do stuff they don't wanna do?" she pointed out.

Tormund nodded vigorously.

"I'll tell ya somethin', girl. Helpin' people sometimes means telling them what they _need_ to hear, and not what they _want_ to hear." He said.

"But if they don't give a damn 'bout ya?" she asked fiercely. "Then what?"

"Then ya tell them over and over, until the wall that's in their head comes down!" he explained, smiling.

Ygritte sighed and sat down on a rock.

"I don't love him anymore", she affirmed. "It's true."

Tormund's smile became even bigger. He was seeing right through her game.

"Of course, of course. But then, why keep on feeding 'im?" he asked calmly.

Ygritte raised her eyebrows, surprised.

"I'm not-", she started, but he was already cutting her off.

"That's jus' wastin' your spittle for nothin'", he declared.

She thought about what he had just said and finally nodded quietly like a child. Tormund laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Now listen real quick. I know ya well 'nough to know that if ya want to do somethin', you'll do it no matter what. But please, girl, think this over. Ya don't know this man. Ya know his cock, is all-" he began, but she was already yelling at him.

"I know 'im! I know 'im damn well!" she defended herself.

"Ya know one thing o' two. But did he talk to you a lot?" he asked.

Ygritte drew her eyes to her feet. She felt like she knew Jon Snow, but what Tormund had said wasn't completely false. She had been the one doing the talking, most of the time. _Maybe he's right. Maybe ya jus' knew his cock. Maybe he didn't even like you that much. That would explain why he rarely spoke…_ But then, she thought about the smiles, and the not-so-retained-laughs, and the way he used to cradle her head and kiss her temple and…

"He didn't talk much, but he _liked_ me. Loved me, I'm not sure. But he tried hard 'nough, I guess." She said, a bit more convinced.

When her eyes went back to him, Tormund had a satisfied look painted on. "There. Ya thought a bit. Not that hard, isn't it?"

She stayed silent. He, on the other hand, wasn't done yet. "Was he good to ya? Did he make ya happy?"

"Aye", she said without hesitation.

"Then how does he feel now? You tell." He said.

 _"_ _He feels bad. He feels like he doesn't deserve you",_ a voice started blurting out in her head. But she forced it to stop. She couldn't start thinking about her pain, let alone Jon Snow's. She had to stop feeding him. _Don't look at 'im. Leave 'im there. You'll forget everythin' soon 'nough._ Tormund got up and entered the tent, his big broad shoulders disappearing under the piled up animal skins. She stayed on her little rock, miserable. _You can't miss 'him. You jus' can't._ She couldn't allow herself to feel anything. Jon Snow was part of the past. Castle Black, the war against the crows, this was her immediate future. She had to keep focusing on crossing that damn wall. A thought started glimmering faintly inside her head, and soon she couldn't ignore it: _but then he'd die. He'd stay in the woods._ And what would that do? It would permit her to move on. Quickly, she got up. What if he was dying _right now_? What if he was already starving? What if some animal had drunk the water while he was sleeping? _You can live three days without water. Three days, and you're dead._ First day was almost done, then. _Stop it. No one drank his damn water. He drank it. He's okay. And why does it matter? Why? You already did too much to help a traitor._ She thought about Tormund, the way he had talked about Jon Snow. She knew how much Tormund would've wanted to kill "the boy". _Then how come he left you with him?_ She wanted to slap herself, if that was even possible. He had left her with him because he trusted her, because he knew she would do the job. _You're lyin' to yourself, now. Tormund knew you wouldn't allow 'im to kill Jon Snow. He knew you'd cry, he knew you'd become wild and reckless and stupid like a trapped animal. He knew you'd_ _ **betray everyone**_ _. Truth is, no one knows how far you could go for this man. Even you don't know. Because you're an idiot, you're a crow wife._

At that point, her eyes went wet. She immediately went inside the tent, laid her furs on the floor, determined to sleep and forget it all. But it wasn't that simple. _Everything_ kept playing in her head, as if a loop that went on and on, showing all the times she laughed with Jon Snow, made fun of him, cuddled up against him… Suddenly, she felt empty: she needed something against her back. _Someone._ She hated herself for not being able to control those kinds of feelings, but it just ached so much. She felt as if one easy solution would be to get up, go back to him and… _Sleep. Jus' sleep. Stop thinkin'._ She finally drifted to sleep so slowly it felt like she didn't even close an eye. She woke up twice. The first time because she dreamt he was dead, the second time because she dreamt he was gone back to the wall. And those two times, she shivered and stayed there, sitting on a pile of fur, miserable and pathetic. She had to face it: sleeping was almost impossible. She didn't have the leisure to think about the situation so much, since it was already time for her watch. She woke up, still sleepy and as tired as the day before.

"I can take this one if you want", said Tormund, visibly responsive to her attitude.

"I'm fine", she replied, grumpy and rubbing the soreness out of her muscles.

"Har! You're either an idiot or you're blind, girl. 'Cause just by looking at your face I know you didn't sleep much. Ya can't do no good except maybe fall asleep on watch."

Ygritte brutally grabbed her bow and put on her boots. "I'm goin'."

Tormund grabbed her feebly on the shoulder, turning her sideways so she would face him.

"You're taking the watch?" He asked, definitely unsure about something.

Ygritte's eyes seemed to grow bigger as she understood what he intended to ask. "You're not thinkin' I could…! So ya think so little o' me? Like I'd leave my kin all alone to feed a traitor, is that it?"

Tormund backed away from her. She waited for a reply, but no word came out of his mouth. Pain shot right through her chest as she understood that even Tormund was beginning to have doubts about whether or not she was still on their side. And suddenly, she stormed off, not able to take it anymore. _Idiot. Crow wife. Traitor._

There it was. Chapter 3. Now, I really really hope that you liked reading it and that you are becoming more and more interested in this story. Don't worry, chapter 4 is coming soon, I promise! In the meantime, you can always post a review (I know I'm repeating this stuff about the reviews but I think the best way to encourage me is to actually let me know that you are enjoying this, because it is and always will be my pleasure to read your reviews, guys!)


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! Fortunately, I had some time today to write chapter 4, which I hope you will like! Now, I won't be able to continue on this streak forever, but I will try my best to update regularly. I hope you are enjoying this story!

Happy reading,

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 4**

 _What does it take for a man to become crazy?_

Jon pushed himself up a bit, in order to be able to rest his back on a rock covered with moss. He was hungry, thirsty, and alone in the woods. To make it even worse, the sky was beginning to darken, announcing the imminent night. What to do? Dislodge the arrows? He would bleed to death. Try to get moving? _Ygritte wouldn't find me._ That thought knocked all sense out of him. _Did she try to find me? Does she remember where I am? Did she abandon me?_ His eyes went searching, wild like an animal's. He didn't quite realize what had happened during the past few hours, but he remembered seeing something lurking in the shadows and not being able to reach for it. A faint _click_ sound made him regain his senses. It sounded like a twig being walked upon, but he wasn't sure. He shivered and recoiled promptly. Someone was sitting beside a tree near him. Jon couldn't really see who it was, but somehow, he knew.

"I dreamt about you", he blurted out.

 _A woman like her. That's what it takes for a man to become crazy._

She stayed silent and motionless.

"I miss you so much", he whispered, his voice a bit hoarse.

He heard the sound of her breath accelerating.

"I remember all of it", he said. "It just keeps… Coming, you know?"

That last sentence seemed to have reached her, for an indescribable whimper came out of her lips. Still, she didn't say a word. Jon sighed.

"I'm not really conscious anymore. Everything just looks like a dream." He tried to take a deep breath but his attempt resulted in a coughing fit. "I might-"

"No. No. Jus' shut up, will ya?" she spit out, her angry tone trying to cover the tears that were starting to form at the corner of her eyes.

"I won't", Jon said. "Not before I tell you how sorry I am."

"Ya already said that", she replied. "It won't do anythin'."

Jon smiled sadly. There was a moment of silence, which he broke after a few minutes. "If I die, will you burry me?"

"No", Ygritte snorted.

"Burn me, then?" he asked, not giving up.

"No!" she shouted.

Jon held his breath for a couple of seconds, thinking she might add something. But she didn't: she just stayed silent once more.

"And why is that?" Jon asked her.

"Because you're not dying, is all." she replied.

It didn't make any sense to him. Why leave him alone in the woods, starving and dying of his wounds, and then affirm solemnly that he wouldn't die?

"I thought about the windmill", Jon said.

"You're dumb", she pointed out.

"I love you", Jon replied.

Ygritte got up and came closer to him. "Ya should've thought 'bout that _before._ "

"I did. And I wasn't able to sleep because of it." he said.

Ygritte swallowed difficultly. "Then why…? Why try t'make it hard for me?"

"Because I can't live like this. Now maybe you can, but I'm not as strong as you…" he admitted.

Again, silence. Jon could clearly see that Ygritte was restraining herself. Her jaw tensed and her fists closed so hard her knuckles turned white. "I'm not strong. Proof is, I'm standin' right next to a traitor."

"Then why are you here?" asked Jon, a concerned look painted on.

"Because I'm an idiot, and I'm weak, and I-", she started spitting out angrily.

Jon immediately cut her off. "You're not. Stop hurting yourself."

"Aye, you're right! I'm the one doin' the hurtin', here!" she cried loudly.

Jon's concerned look turned into a sheepish one. He didn't have anything to reply. _She's right. You shouldn't've made that mistake. You deserve all this._

"I couldn't live without you", he said.

"But ya will", she said roughly. "I'm not you're woman anymore: I'm not a crow wife."

Jon looked away from her. That last sentence hurt him more than he could've ever imagined.

"Listen, I don't even care about my duty anymore. All I care about is you…"

His head started spinning. Soon, he felt as if the world was upside down. Ygritte's face started to blur while he tried his best to stay awake. But after a while, his efforts proved to be useless. He was falling unconscious. Ygritte shook him brutally.

"No, you're not doin' that. You're not." she said, breathless.

He wanted to talk, but he could only mumble incomprehensible words.

"No time for this, crow. Jus' stay awake." she ordered him.

But it was too late. His head was slowly falling down, his chin resting on his chest. Quick, Ygritte placed her hand under his shoulders and started to drag him backwards, grunting with the effort. _The crow wife is bringing back a traitor to the camp._ She went on like this for what seemed to be hours. Jon wasn't waking up. His head was still wobbly, settling down on one side of his neck, and then bouncing up on the other side. Half of the time, Ygritte was biting her lip, hoping despite herself that Jon Snow wasn't about to die, that he would stay unconscious for the next few minutes and then wake up as if nothing had happened. When the sun began to come up, the two were approaching the camp. As soon as they went past a few wildings, words of accusation were heard.

"Traitor! Turncloak! Bastard!" shouted the crowd.

People were soon gathering around the unconscious man, unsheathing their blades.

"Lemme finish the job", said one of them, a big broad man with crooked teeth.

"I'm in charge. Nobody does anything!" Ygritte instructed.

But he wasn't satisfied with her words just yet. "I won't hurt him much. Just a scratch or two… He deserved it!"

"He's done nothin' to ya." She hissed.

The smirks went off their faces immediately. "And who are ya t'say that? Some craven?"

"Who brings a crow into their camp without the intention of killing 'im? Traitors do that!" said another man.

The broad man with the crooked teeth blocked her way. "A traitor, is that it?"

Ygritte let go of Jon and took out her knife. "I'm not afraid o' ya."

"So there's a fight here and nobody told me?" said someone behind their backs.

Ygritte turned around and saw Tormund standing right in front of her.

"I asked her to bring that crow", he shot at the man threatening her. "He's a messenger and we're gonna question 'im."

The two men seemed to confront during a moment.

"Fine", growled the assailant.

Tormund lifted Jon up and held him flat against his shoulder in what looked like an effortless move.

"Come on, girl. We're done here." he said.

Ygritte followed him without saying a word, knowing that this time, had it not been for Tormund, Jon Snow would've died. _And you couldn't've done anythin' 'bout it. Except maybe stand there and try some suicidal moves that would've led to your death. That was selfish, and risky, and dumb… Then how come you don't feel any shame?_

I can't wait to write chapter 5 so I will be updating soon! Are you guys happy with the story? If so, feel free to let me know about your thoughts ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Hello there! I wanted to update on Easter, but unfortunately, I didn't have time to finish the chapter... Anyways, I'm posting it now so hurray! As always, I hope you're gonna enjoy it!

Happy reading!

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 5**

 _When will I see again? Maybe I'm blind. And this sound, this buzzing… Kind of like a wasp. Or a bee… Or maybe even a fly. Am I deaf? Gods, don't let that happen. Please, you have to understand. I'm blind, and deaf, and I lost someone. Someone who hates me now. Everyone hates me. I hate myself. I need to fix all this… Please, don't let it be over. Please don't…_

"Har! The boy is waking up, after all."

Slowly, the world was clear again. Nothing blurred… It was such a relief. As he began to notice his surroundings, he saw Tormund sitting nearby. He was looking strangely peaceful, not to say tranquil. Something was off. _Something._ Just when he was about to start searching for Ygritte, Tormund cut right to the chase.

"The girl is off somewhere… She's a bit intense, lately, boy. Don't try anythin' with her."

Jon scratched his head, collecting his thoughts. "What is she doing?"

"Ah, that, no one will know", he said, as he started biting the skin off a rib bone.

Jon blinked, not convinced. "And what do _you_ think she's doing?"

Tormund let go of the bone, munching quietly while he studied Jon like a scientist would study a newly discovered creature. Jon didn't look down, determined to hold Tormund's gaze. His father used to tell him that an innocent man would never look down when questioned. "Truth is, Ygritte likes to be seen as the same girl, now an' always. Ya know she changes a lot depending on how you talk to her… The words you use, all sorta things."

Jon didn't quite understand, but he nodded nevertheless. Letting Tormund get to the point was probably the best strategy.

"Well, she knows how she acts… But doesn't wanna acknowledge it. Much like a bit o' hardened mud: ya think it's a rock, but then it all crumbles in your hand when ya get a good grip on it."

Jon smiled a bit at the metaphor Tormund had just used. It wasn't really classy, but it did the job. "Then... She's angry and goes away?" suggested Jon.

Tormund shrugged. "Eh, more o' less. She's _sad_ and goes away… Aye, that's more likely. Ygritte was never really angry with you, did ya know that…?"

Jon shook his head. That, he didn't know.

"I used to think she could kill ya. After all, you're a crow…" said Tormund.

Jon struggled a bit with his swallowing. Yes, he was a crow in a village full of wildlings. He didn't need to be reminded of that…

"But she didn't, boy. Is all. She thought she could, everyone thought she could. But she put three damn arrows in ya. An' I've seen the girl hit a rabbit fifty yards away."

He imitated the sound of an arrow being shot. " _Whoosh!_ Right in the eye, boy… Right in the eye."

Tormund closed his eyes for a few minutes, pausing his relaxation from time to time to wipe his nose or lick his fingers which were probably still tasting of meat. Jon realized that the giant man hadn't even answered the question they had been reflecting on from the very beginning.

"So what is Ygritte doing?" he asked.

"Killing what she can kill, and forcing herself to find some kind o' solace in the action", said Tormund.

Jon nodded quietly. What Tormund had said made sense, after all. Maybe Ygritte wasn't that angry. Maybe she _wanted_ to be angry. And maybe Jon wanted her to be angry too… Thinking of Ygritte's sadness always made his heart break into pieces.

"Do you think it'll stop?" asked Jon.

"No. It'll lose a bit o' its size, though. Maybe someday she'll talk to ya again. If she does so, you'd be a very lucky boy."

"Then what should I do?" asked Jon, his eyes imploring for an answer.

Tormund shot him a frustrated look. "You do know I was starting to like ya, boy?"

The big man slammed the flat of his hand on his lap. He then took a minute to think, and continued on. "An' you do know she was _completely mad_ …? She wanted to go, run away with you… I saw her pack some stuff, one night. Her old pals, her people, nothin' mattered anymore. She was out of her mind, the poor girl. Thought about you constantly."

Jon then saw something hatch inside of Tormund, something he had never seen before in the giant man. It was a mixture of sorrow and emptiness, some feeling that one would have while stumbling upon the memory of an old friend. It was more than nostalgia, more than pure sadness. It was regret.

"When ya ran away, something went off inside o' her. Something big. And soon, the girl was shallow and dumb and pissed off. She said some nasty stuff to everyone. Especially whenever someone mentioned you, boy… She'd get into the details o' how she'd kill ya. That was the worst part to listen to."

"When did you find me?" asked Jon.

"Two days after, I think. Somethin' like that…" he said.

Tormund shot him a piercing gaze. "You see, the girl still loves you a hell o' a lot."

Jon was completely lost at that moment. "I feel the same about her…"

Tormund shook his head with denial. "But ya left, crow. And now, she's changed. You're gonna have to accept that one way o' another."

Panic started to grow inside of Jon. What if he had _broken_ Ygritte and there was no way to fix her? _And now, she's changed… It's my fault._

"Tell her I still love her", he told Tormund, desperate. "Tell her I always think about her. Tell her…"

The big man laughed brutally. "Har! She already knows that, crow! She knows that, like she knows my beard is red! The only thing she doesn't know is if you're worth forgiving. That, she doesn't know…"

Tormund smiled, revealing sharp teeth. "Do you remember what I told ya about lying t'me, boy?"

Jon swallowed difficultly (again). "That you'd pull my guts out of my throat."

Tormund nodded, triumphant. "There's a clever boy. Now, guess why I'm not killing ya right now…?"

Jon closed his eyes, suddenly tired. "Because you like me."

Again, Tormund laughed loudly. "No, I don't really like you anymore. But she does. And now, guess what would happen if I was to come up here…"

The giant wildling went beside Jon and seized his curly hair, forcefully pulling his head backward. Jon grunted with pain. "It would be very easy to kill ya, crow. I'd be tempted to do it, but… She'd go crazy, ya know."

Tormund's lips were mere inches from Jon's ear. "Lucky boy", he whispered.

At that moment, someone approached the tent. Tormund got up and quickly regained his previous spot. "You're sleeping, boy", he ordered him. "Better for you to sleep."

Jon closed his eyes and nodded weakly. Soon after, Ygritte was inside the tent. He had recognized the sound her bow had made when she put it away. He opened one eye and saw that she had sat silently beside Tormund. Three rabbits had been piled up in the back of the tent.

"Good hunt?" asked Tormund.

"Aye", Ygritte replied blankly.

Jon couldn't repress the urge to cough. As he started wheezing, he heard the sound of something crumpling.

"Already goin' to sleep?" asked Tormund, a bit surprised.

Ygritte didn't reply.

Jon opened his eyes, realizing that Ygritte probably couldn't see him anymore. But she did see him… She was looking at him at the very moment, and when their eyes met, she looked like a young child. Knowing that letting go of her gaze was the best option, he closed his eyes, determined to sleep. And he did, thankfully.

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked this chapter! And for the reviews, keep them coming if possible! I really enjoy reading them :)

Next update is coming very soon!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! First of all, I'm so sorry for the delay, I know I said I'd publish this chapter soon after the previous one but I didn't really have the time to finish it up until now. Plus, I wanted it to be perfect since it's a very important chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it, and I'll do my best to update quickly.

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 6**

"Well, someone's gotta do something or else he stays here!"

A voice made its way to his ear, somehow. _Wasn't I asleep seconds ago? Am I awake?_ His eyes opened slowly. Daylight rushed to his eyeballs and he blinked multiple times to drive away the sudden pain occurring at the moment.

"You bring him with you. I ain't goin' through this again!"

Immediately, he recognized Ygritte's voice. It sounded rasp and weary: she didn't sleep much.

"The boy is heavy", Tormund affirmed.

"And?" countered Ygritte.

"I can't jus' carry 'im on me back like he's a sack o' wood!"

"Then we wait on 'im", she suggested.

Jon heard something hit the ground with a thud. Probably Tormund's foot.

"Ya said that two days ago! He doesn't seem better if ya ask me!" said the giant man.

"He has more color to 'is face", Ygritte pointed out.

Tormund shrugged and raised his eyebrows. "Would ya tell me how ya see these kinds o' things?"

Jon smiled and thought about how Ygritte always read his emotions perfectly. It made his whole being ache when he realized that he maybe wouldn't get to hear her talk to him ever again.

"Well I jus' look, is all", she explained.

"Ya look a lot", smiled Tormund.

Ygritte shot him a piercing gaze. "I don't look that much. I can see these things real' quick."

"Now hold on, don't bite." Said Tormund teasingly.

"I'm actually startin' to think biting would be a good way t'make you shut up", spat Ygritte angrily.

Jon smiled again, despite him. Ygritte being angry was better than Ygritte being sad.

"We should wake him up", mumbled Tormund.

"Aye", replied Ygritte.

Silence. Jon had been preparing himself to be talked to or shaken, but nothing went on. He began to think that maybe they had gone out of the tent.

Finally, Tormund's voice resonated. "Are you falling asleep, girl?"

"No", she said.

"Then go ahead! Wake the boy up! I'll be going…"

He paused.

"Outside. T'feed the horses. They're hungry, those beasts." He finished.

Jon heard Tormund toss open the tent's curtain and exit the room, leaving the two ex-lovers together.

"You awake?" Ygritte barked.

Jon began to struggle to get the furs off him. "I am", he said.

He straightened up, scanning the surrounding in order to find her. His eyes settled on a human form at the back of the tent.

"How are you, crow?" she asked, her voice colder than he would've expected.

"I'm fine, I guess", he replied sheepishly.

"Well that's wonderful."

Jon recoiled with Ygritte's aggressive, ironic tone. She was definitely not done with him. He started to push himself up, afraid of having temporarily lost the ability to walk. He stumbled, let out a grunt and sat down once more.

"I don't think I can walk", he complained.

"I'm not surprised. Ya had three arrows in ya, that's why." She mocked him.

He fumbled on his furs, discovering three bandages stained with blood.

"Who tended my wounds?" he asked, puzzled.

He actually knew Tormund wouldn't have minded taking care of his wounds, but he still needed an answer. When he saw her eyes, though, he lost his train of thought. No, Tormund had not tended his wounds. She had.

"Does it matter?" she snorted.

"You did", he blurted out, dizzy and idiot and half-witted.

He immediately regretted the words. She slowly turned to face him.

"I did not!" she exclaimed, truly upset.

He shot her an incredulous look. "What? Then who did?"

She avoided his stare. "Tormund, maybe. I wasn't there, I don't know."

"Thank you", he said.

She didn't reply, but the look she gave him was sufficient to be counted as an answer. A few minutes went by as they stared at each other, unsettled.

"We'll have to leave ya there if you don't walk", averted Ygritte.

"I'll die", he replied.

"Maybe ya will, after all", she whispered as if to herself.

Jon supported himself using a wood stick as a cane.

"I can walk", he grunted angrily.

Ygritte stood up and walked toward him. "For ten minutes, maybe. Then you're a dead crow."

"Horses, then?" he suggested.

"Ya couldn't sit on one", she grumbled.

"I'll try", he added nevertheless.

Ygritte lifted her head, unbelieving. "Ya could, but it'd confirm my thoughts on you being an idiot."

"That can't really be called giving a choice, Ygritte", he advanced.

"I don't care", she retorted.

"Fine. I'll walk."

She stood up as he was starting to walk past her. "Sit down."

He raised his eyebrows. "I won't."

"D'ya really want t'die this much?" she cried out violently.

He stayed silent, shocked.

"I'll ask Tormund t'cut your throat, if that's what ya really want." She went on.

"You wouldn't dare. You can't do it yourself, so-" he began before she cut him off.

"Is that a game you're playing? Making me feel like I'm a craven who can't kill off her enemies?" she spat out.

"No, it's not-" he started, but she cut him off again, and even more brutally.

"Stop lyin', crow. We both know ya don't wanna die, so just sit down on these furs an' shut up!" she shouted.

"But I-" he tried one last time to place a sentence, but she shot him a killer look as she cut him off once more.

"Last time I'm warnin' ya", she said, ruthless.

He sit down and let out a sigh. "Fine, do as you want."

"You're makin' me mad for nothin'. I hate this." She said.

"It wasn't on purpose", he affirmed.

She rolled her eyes. "Watch your sweet words, crow. Ya jus' might make me wanna kiss you all over like you could've done with your ladies in the south."

A smile wanted to creep on his lips, but he stopped it from spreading. Ygritte wanted to torture him, and if he began to think about their nights together, he'd lose himself. He decided to play along notwithstanding.

"I'd maybe like that", he remarked teasingly.

"Careful, crow. I'm not in the mood." She replied.

"So there's a mood for this?" he asked innocently.

She let out a dry laugh. "There is one. But I'm afraid it'll be gone for a wee time."

"So did you find another one?" he asked.

She stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Maybe I did", she said.

He started thinking about another man making love to her, another man playing with her hair and breathing her scent and kissing her neck and-

"You're lying", he let out a little too roughly.

"You'd like that, wouldn't ya?"

She smiled, revealing sharp white teeth. "You're not the only one, you know", she said calmly, knowing the effect it would have on him.

"Stop fooling around", he grunted.

"Oh am I? I jus' forgot you didn't like it when I talked about other men fucking me."

"Enough!" he shouted vehemently.

She looked right at him, a content light illuminating her eyes.

"That's more than ya can take, is it?" she half whispered.

He was fulminating. "You're disrespecting everything. You loved me, did you forget it so quick?"

A crushed look went by on her face, so fast it was almost impossible to notice.

"An' you? What is it called, that thing ya did t'me? Aye, I remember well 'nough. It's called treason." She countered aggressively.

"I'm sorry!"

He had let out a scream, a cry of despair. His voice has exploded, rushing out of his lungs so fast he nearly lacked the air to breathe soon after.

"Too late", she said almost hysterically. "Too. Late."

"Then why am I here, eh? Why am I sitting here, alive and well, talking to you!?"

The pain he caused her was unbearable to watch. She looked half mad.

"Because I chose to do it, I'm this craven everyone laughs about! I couldn't kill ya, I jus' couldn't. Go ahead, punish me for it. Banish me. Do something, anything, but make it stop."

He tried to reach for her, but she recoiled and his hand found nothing. Pure emptiness.

"I won't do that", he said, pathetic. I won't humiliate you."

"They say I'm a crow wife!" she cried. "They say I'm a traitor, just like you! They laugh, when I go by. They _laugh."_

Once more, he tried to comfort her, and for a second or two, his hand touched her shoulder, and for half a moment, he thought he felt her tremble under his touch, but she ended the contact quickly by slapping his hand and retreating away.

"Don't touch me", she warned him.

"Then what? I should stay here and watch you suffer?" he asked, puzzled.

She stayed silent, unmoving. His whole being ached so bad.

"Ygritte, I am trying!" he yelled. "I am trying to make you _see!_ "

The wildling turned around and something flashed in her eyes. Anger? Sorrow? He couldn't tell anymore.

"See what?" she asked blankly. "What do you want me t'see, Jon Snow? 'Cause I think I saw everything."

"See the truth." He said.

Ygritte shot him an inquiring look. "An' what does that mean?"

"It means I'm still crazy in love with a woman, and she doesn't love me anymore, and I'll die from it." He blurted out.

"Leave me alone with that!" she shouted.

"Why?" he questioned.

She didn't answer yet. He asked again, hoping for an answer. "Why, Ygritte?"

"Because I can't. I jus'…" she started.

Tears started to form at the corner of her eyes. He noticed, and it crushed him even more. He hadn't seen Ygritte cry except for that day when he left her.

"It's too late, Jon Snow. Too damn late. Get over it." She said, her voice turning to ice.

And she went out of the tent, leaving him to his agony.

As always, thank you so much for reading. If you liked it, feel free to leave a comment! I'll update as soon as possible.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! I'm on a roll! I've had a couple of hours to write this chapter tonight, and I really hope you'll like it!

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 7**

 _You were happy._ He had been struggling to admit that fact to himself, but he couldn't keep it hidden anymore. _You were happy._ There had been some nights where he had dreamt of making love to her. It always began with a brief kiss, and then everything was hot and sweaty and the furs where piled up everywhere except on them. His mouth was hungry for more, trailing on every bit of flesh it could reach. Soon, he would wake up and find nothing but his empty bed of furs and a film of sweat on his brow. But then he would turn around and look at her. It was his only path to solace. Somehow, just by watching her, he would be able to imagine the lost happiness he missed so much. And it just hurt… Not being able to crawl next to her, to wrap his hands around her and kiss her to sleep. Sometimes, he thought being close to her was harder than being away since he wasn't allowed to touch her or talk to her the way he used to. _You were happy… And she was happy too._

Ygritte had never been a very demonstrative individual, in a sense. She never really told him that she loved him. She never said anything to truly compliment him. Usually, when she acknowledged his qualities, she did it in a way that resembled mockery. _You're brave… Stupid, but brave._ Then he would secretly question himself about whether or not she truly loved him, or if she only found him fun to taunt. He never asked, though. Maybe he was afraid of the way she would react to a question of this type.

When they made love, though, he felt as if she unrestrained herself completely. Never did she look as happy and content as she did when their bodies collided, when one mouth smashed against the other. Looking back, he felt as if he should've enjoyed it even more. Now, everything they had seemed gone…

 _You were happy._

There were nights where they were calmer than usual, taking turns pleasuring the other, watching closely as their bodies trembled with passion. Then there were those nights where they couldn't keep their hands off each other, licking and biting hard, gleaming with gushing emotion. She had both hands in his hair – she liked his hair quite a lot actually, and he was keeping himself busy breathing every bit of her scent. She smelled of wilderness, of grass and forest and nature, and another smell he could only describe by using the word "warm". Yes, she smelled warm. How was that even possible? He couldn't tell.

He caught himself thinking about whether or not she missed having him inside her. At first, he wasn't sure, and then he thought about the way she used to wake him in the darkness, greedy for his touch. Her voice was hush, and most of the time she didn't need to explain. He just did it; jumping on top of her, lowering himself until his chest touched her bare breasts. Soon, silence reigned, only to be broken once or twice by their breathing accelerating brutally. He missed it: being guided by her hands, being whispered in the ear, being told he did _just the right thing._

 _You were truly happy._

Jon woke up suddenly, glancing across the room, trying to settle his gaze on something, anything. His dreams had been particularly intense, resulting on his member growing very hard. He needed her so bad.

Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breath. _There. You can go back to sleep, now. You can._

His shoulders were immensely sore. He rubbed them in a circular motion, grunting with both relief and pain. He straightened his back, stretching his muscles. A feeble noise echoed in the night. The noise of two pieces of fabric being ripped apart. He searched for the origin of the sound and lowered his eyes on his abdomen. His bandage had fallen off his skin.

At first, he didn't think of it as a big deal, but then he took away the bandage and let out a muffled scream.

The wound's texture was badly altered, having become flabby and loose in a matter of days. When he poked it with a finger, pus sprayed out of the wound. The color had gone from red to a yellowish green.

His breath accelerated as he realized the intensity of the injury. If he let it grow, it would soon be fatal. Quickly, he turned around and called for Ygritte. She rose up immediately, being used to wake her body the fastest way possible in order to survive a potential enemy.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice still sleepy despite her trying to make it seem alert.

He pointed at his abdomen. "The wound."

She frowned and came closer to him. "Show me."

He turned in a way that he would face her. "There. It hurts like hell."

She didn't say anything right away, but her face tensed and she turned white. Jon's throat tightened as he realized the problem was even more serious than he thought.

"How bad is it?" he asked, worried.

She paused, considering the issue. "It's nasty."

Jon swallowed difficultly. All he managed to get out was one word: "How…?"

"How nasty?" She turned around, her eyes sinking deep into his. "It's spread from here…" She pointed the bottom of his abs. "T'here", she finished, showing a spot just below his last set of ribs. "I can't cut off anythin'… It's not like a limb." She shook her head brutally, frowned again and then let out a repressed whimper. It took her a moment to realize he had heard her, but then it was too late, was it?

"Jus' stay there. Don't move." Ygritte said, getting out of the tent.

He heard her calling for Tormund, and the intonation of her voice was so desperate he almost believed, although only for a second or two, that she was crying.

"He's on watch", she told Jon as she came back to him.

He saw that she had brought medicinal herbs with her. "This one's for the pain."

She tossed what looked like grass in a mortar. "I'll mash this up after we're done with the cleanin'."

He grimaced with pain and coughed deeply as she sprayed the wound with fresh water. "Did it pierce the lung?"

She shook her head. "Went through the back, but no. Just the abs an' other tissue."

The wildling paused, preparing some kind of paste with what remained of strange looking leaves. "Why didn't ya tell me it hurt tha' much?" she asked harshly.

"I thought maybe it was supposed to hurt", he replied innocently. "And I didn't really notice until now."

"It _is_ supposed t'hurt, but just not so much. There's a difference between a healing wound an' this." She pointed at his injury.

"I know, it's just that…" he started uncertainly.

She leaned to get a pestle. "You know nothing, Jon Snow."

 _Five words, and you're happy again._

And even though the pain seared through his back down to his abs, even though his wounds had become a complete mess, even though he was freezing without his furs, he smiled _so much_.

"I'm dying, am I?" he asked weakly.

Not getting any answer, he called her name. "Ygritte?"

"No, you're not. You're not. Dumb is what you are, right now, sayin' all this." She spit out.

"Aye", he whispered.

He wanted to believe her. She wanted to believe herself. They were safe together, keeping away from sorrow.

 _You were so happy._

"I didn't know it…" he murmured, senseless.

"Didn't know what?" she asked while laying the paste on his abdomen.

"That you wanted me to speak to you somehow", he blurted out.

She furrowed her brow. "If you're dying from a secret wound, aye, ya can speak t'me."

"And if not?" he questioned, his eyes almost closing from fatigue.

She didn't reply yet. She waited for the moment to pass, for his eyes to close. She waited for his breath to steady. Then, she answered his question.

"I guess you're free t'do what ya want."

That's it for now! I hope you liked it! As always, I'll do my best to update quickly, so stay tuned ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Hello guys! First of all, I deeply apologize for the delay : I've been very busy with my exams but since it's now summer vacation, I think I'll be able to keep updating this fic regularly :)

As always, happy reading,

TheFrenchWriter

 **The night he fell - Jon Snow x Ygritte fanfic, chapter 8**

Darkness wasn't an abstract concept anymore. It was part of him. Slowly reaching for his body, and then, when it settled, for his soul and mind. _Wake up. Wake up._ He couldn't hold on. During the day, while awake, the pain kept crashing down his abdomen, in his liver, all over his skin, entering each and every body cell. Breathing itself was harder than ever, since that panicking sensation of loss turned his mind into a storm of hysteria. His thoughts were impregnated with folly, and their themes and subjects were incomprehensible. Once, he had become fairly certain that a big bird had flown into the tent, as illogical as it seemed. And when Ygritte came by to change his bandages (quite frequently actually) he lost his mind. The first few times, he had appeared pretty conscious and sane, probably knowing that his actions or words wouldn't have any effect on the spearwife. But as time went by, he lost his restrain. Usually, when she came by, he was asleep. She'd begin by taking the furs off his torso, and cleaning the wound with tepid water. At that point, he was most likely awake. Blinking a few times to ensure the light into his eyeballs, he'd observe her face and how her traits contorted while she worked. Then pain would pay him a visit. It always began when he felt the medicinal herbs on his ravaged skin. He couldn't help but jerk upward, trying to escape the burning sensation as Ygritte desperately restrained him. He'd even start begging. His voice would turn into a child's, echoing with tears of rage and sorrow, deeply filled with terror. He'd beg for her to stop, for her to forgive him. And sometimes, when his words didn't belong to anyone except the Stranger, he'd ask for her to kill him. _You're a craven. You're a liar, and a traitor, and a craven. She'll never forgive you. She'll leave you alone, in the woods. You'll die in the snow. You'll die._

"Now you stay calm", said Ygritte as she entered the tent, holding a bunch of white hares.

Surprised by the sudden arrival, Jon turned to face her, an incredulous look on his face.

"I think I'm better now", he mumbled indistinctly.

"Aye. Well ya always say that."

She quickly displayed her medicinal herbs and went to fetch water as Jon mentally prepared.

 _Stay calm… Don't scream. Don't shout for help. Don't_ _ **beg**_ _._

Soon, Ygritte was back with a bowl that she put beside the rest of her tools. Jon shivered as he felt the furs being taken away from his body. Ygritte undid his bandage and he grunted as he felt the cold air brushing against the wound.

"Deep breath", she instructed him.

His jaw tensed and his hands turned into fists. He inhaled deeply. Immediately after, water began dripping on his severed skin. His gaze went around, wild and reckless. It found Ygritte's face and settled there for a while.

"Breathe", she ordered again, a bit more fiercely.

He felt her hands on his skin; they were cold and delivered an impersonal touch, like a robot's. _Don't scream._

The herbs' effect was immediate. A burning sensation began to grow, solid and aggressive.

 _Don't scream._

His hand went searching until it found her arm. She tried to get it out of the way, but her attempt was feeble enough so that he didn't let go.

"Ygritte."

His lips blurted out her name, and she shivered. He couldn't know how much he reached her, how much he affected every part of her soul.

"I'm almost done", she said, trying to control the emotions in her tone.

Truly, she was anything but calm. Each day, a massive amount of remorse battered against her conscience, driving her mad, forcing her to retreat and hide behind her biggest mental walls. A robot or animatronic would look almost exactly like her at the moment.

"How's the pain, these days?" she asked, knowing that his answer wouldn't really make sense but still wanting to _hear him._

At first, he only grunted. But then, she succeeded in getting a couple of words out of him. "At night, it's worse."

"Uh-huh", she mumbled, laying a fresh bandage on the wound.

"Sometimes I see birds in the tent, and I call you."

She winced and quickly plunged her hands in the bowl of water. "Aye, I know that."

"But the birds aren't really there…?" he asked, seemingly puzzled.

Ygritte inhaled deeply. "No, the birds aren't there."

"But then how come…? I'm crazy am I?" asked Jon, remaining skeptical.

"It's the pain, is all."

Ygritte got up and headed outside. Almost immediately, Jon called for her in a heart-breaking tone that almost made her crumble. "Don't go."

She turned around, her facial expression coated with mixed feelings.

"Don't do this t'me, crow", she let out in an exhausted voice.

"Do what?" he questioned her.

"Aye, you'd like that, would ya? Getting me t'have a wee talk with ya like nothin' happened? I see right through ya, crow." she said, her voice cold as ice.

"Seven hells", he muttered.

"What?" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"You're overreacting to everything… Just, calm down."

She sat down beside him, silent. He could see right away how mad he had got her. Her jaw was as tense as humanly possible, her whole expression exasperated and annoyed.

"Ygritte, what do you want me to do?" he asked. "I'm here, I'm alive! I got away, but I turned around, for gods' sake! I went back for you! What can I do, now? Do I have a chance? Apparently, I don't!"

"Ya told me you'd stay, Jon Snow." she simply stated. "I took ya for granted, is all. I never should've trusted ya."

"Then get me out of this tent", he offered, implacable.

She stared at him for a long moment. Although her face was completely blank, her gaze almost made him look down.

"I won't", she finally said.

He stayed silent, surprised by her answer.

She went on. "Now you're gonna ask me why, eh? Ya wanna know why? Because I'm weak, Jon Snow. An' I fell in love with you. So damn hard."

Her eyes were imploring. "But now you've gotta let me go. Promise me you'll do it."

"I can't do that."

"You're cruel."

Jon jerked upward but his impulse was curbed when the pain locked his muscles.

"Am I?" he said weakly, his tone covered with pain.

She stayed silent and motionless. Jon inhaled deeply. "Look at me."

Again, she didn't react.

Anger began to affect Jon's actions. "Look at me, at least!'

She seemed annoyed, but obeyed nonetheless.

"So I came back for nothing?!" he cried out.

Those last words triggered an explosion: Ygritte's glance became murderous.

"You fell!" she shouted loudly.

Jon took a moment to encompass the meaning behind what she had just said. He couldn't completely grasp the idea she had expressed. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'm just sayin' the damn truth. Ya didn't turn back, Jon Snow. Ya fell, and couldn't get back up. Ya had to survive. All your little game was a plan." she explained quite calmly.

Jon's silence was sorrowful. How could she think that he didn't care about her, to the point where he would make a scene serving a sole purpose of survival? The bare thought of it became excruciating to Jon's mind. _How did we manage to fall this low? What happened to us?_

"How could…?" began Jon.

"I don't know, you tell me? Why don't I trust ya anymore?" she asked mercilessly.

"You can call me a traitor, I don't really care at this point! Go ahead and call me a liar too, once we're at it! But to call me a two-faced hypocrite…?"

"Ya fucked me damn hard, ya should be happy 'bout it. But ya don't get to play with my feelings anymore, Jon Snow. It's over." she said.

"Then why play with mine?" he asked brutally.

He had got her with that last line.

Jon continued on his streak. "I didn't fuck you, Ygritte, I made love to you! I enjoyed every instant of it! I'm not one of these men who take their pleasure and then leave! I'm not heartless! How could you think I've been false?"

"You're loyal to the crows. Ya knew ya could bring information to 'em by living with the enemy, an' by sleeping with one." she said.

"I did my duty, but I fell in love with you at the same time."

She got up impetuously, boiling with anger. "I knew I was right. Ya had a plan from the beginning."

Jon threw his arm forward and grabbed her leg. "You weren't part of this, not even one bit!"

"But ya left me all the same!" she yelled.

"I'm staying now!" he yelled back.

She stayed still, swallowing difficultly. "Then promise me."

"I promise", he immediately replied, his eyes reflecting his disarming frankness.

One could see that at the moment, Ygritte's conscience battled between her heart and mind, knowing that Jon had betrayed her the last time, but believing that he was now completely honest about his promise. She could recall the lack of confidence he had displayed the last time he swore he wouldn't betray her. Every bit of uncertainty had now vanished from his eyes. He was being true to her, and she realized it.

She once again sat beside him, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Exhaustion seemed to have extinguished her anger.

Desire rumbled inside of Jon's chest. Seeing her like this, without any barriers left, it awoke his deepest feelings of love for her. He pointed the vacant space on the furs beside him. "Come here."

At first, she didn't react. Sparkling emotion then began to invade her entire being. She couldn't resist the urge to crawl up beside him.

Which she did.

Night was gathering quickly enough. Soon, his hand found her arm. And then, when she didn't object, he slid his fingers under her elbow, finding her belly. He thought he heard her sigh as she pulled herself closer to him, resting her back against his chest. He smiled as his world turned to a shadow.

They fell asleep.

That's it for now, I hope you liked the chapter! Feel free to post a review or send me a PM, I'll be very happy about it! Chapter 9 is coming as quickly as possible!


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